Magazine seeks to aid those going through divorce
By PETER MARCUS - April 12, 2006

Divorce is tough and potentially expensive, but one Denver magazine editor is working to ease tension for those in the city facing the dubious process.

Divorce in Denver, a magazine created, edited and published by Denver resident Cyndee Rae, guides Denverites through the messy, complicated and stressful divorce process.

The 32-page magazine with a circulation of 20,000 is celebrating its second year of publication, continuing to pool the region’s top specialists to walk the state’s over 40,000 divorcees through the emotional, financial and social challenges involved in starting a new life.

“We’ve definitely hit a nerve in the community,” said Rae. “We hope to help those struggling with saving their marriages or determining it’s time to move on.”

Published six times a year, the magazine remains an independent publication thanks to community support, advertisers and, of course, the publications relevant and useful content.

Rae, after experiencing a painful divorce situation of her own, set out to become a divorce expert and help other men and women cope with the challenges, trauma and myths surrounding divorce and marriage separation.

Her own 17-year marriage ended in 2002, but rather than surrender to self-pity and wallowing, Rae decided to fight back, stand tall and launch Divorce in Denver.

“Nobody ever plans for their marriage to fail,” she continued. “There’s always hope, but for some it’s very difficult to leave a relationship, while others regret not divorcing sooner.”

The magazine’s most current issue features, “Avoiding ‘Damaged Goods’ Stigma,” “Emotional Baggage in New Relationships,” and “Avoiding Future Mismatches.”

“There are so many unknowns and uncertainties in the middle of any divorce,” explained Rae. “We hope to provide resources and support during a difficult and confusing process.”

03/31/2006
By:Peter Jones

A framed portrait of Cyndee Rae and her new husband, John, sits prominently in her home office. The smiling newlyweds greet anyone seated across the desk from Rae - a perpetual reminder that this Centennial woman is now happily married.

One thing is clear about Rae, a 40-something mother of two teenagers. Although she works out of her house, the small-business woman does not take her work home with her. Rae is publisher and editor of Divorce in Denver.

"I wish I would have had a magazine like this," the divorcee lamented from behind a happier photo. "I was in a situation where I had to constantly deal with it. There were so many questions that I had, so many new terms and people involved that I had never even heard of before. The sad part is you don't realize what you need until after the fact, and then it's too late."

Like the publishers of Playboy and Rolling Stone, Rae has founded a magazine that she, herself, had been wanting to read - a sort of guidebook through the trenches of legal separation.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through," Rae said of her 2001 divorce. "I call it 'the fog.' I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't focus. There were just so many things rolling around in my head."

To get an idea, take a look at the table of contents.
In seven issues, Rae's bimonthly has touched on virtually every aspect of the divorce experience - from co-parenting plans and tax issues to pets, online dating and "sex with your ex."

Most important, the magazine has not divorced the mechanics of separation from the game plans of emotional recovery. That is why the publication is subtitled "Moving Forward."

"We want to be the go-to experts in Colorado," Rae said of Divorce in Denver's mission. "What we've tried to do is get the experts in town to work with us. By and large, they're grateful to do so."

Rae turns to professionals as varied as therapists, attorneys, accountants and even a dating coach. The magazine has married that expertise to the true stories of Denverites - well known and unknown - who are willing to share their experiences.
Last year, sportscaster Mike Nolan discussed lessons he learned in three marriages and divorces. He spoke candidly about his long-time alcohol addiction and the toll broadcasting took on his relationships.

"I think a lot of it was I never really worked at it," Nolan told a Divorce in Denver reporter. "...I come from a Catholic background, where if you get married, you get married for life. That's the toughest part, other than the kids. It's a failure."
For another 2005 issue, Arapahoe County Clerk Nancy Doty contributed a first-person essay about her divorce.

"I was prepared to lose my husband," she wrote, "but when I lost the closeness and love of my two children, I was devastated. The only thing I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother."

Illustrated by such tales of survival is a challenge faced by the magazine. While primers on dividing retirement plans have their short-term utility, most readers do not turn divorce recovery into a lifestyle choice. At some point, subscribing to Divorce in Denver makes as much sense as taking TV Guide on a backpacking trip.
As Rae views it, her magazine is a bit like a movie - the kind a person can catch up with, regardless of where he or she walks in.

"We want to take them from whatever place they are," she said. "Whether they're facing a divorce or they're thinking about it - to the people who are in the middle of it - to the end. The one thing we have going for us - fortunately or unfortunately - is there is a constant influx of new readers."

In 2004, 40,000 Coloradans ended their marriages.
As Tammy Wynette spelled-out in one of her hits, divorce is no honeymoon - attorneys, the kids, moving, splitting assets, splitting friends - while emotional baggage is packed, reshuffled and thrown back on the double bed again. What Rae needed was a good attorney, a shoulder to cry on, and a magazine like Divorce in Denver.

She says she was forced by the courts to declare a fictitious income because of her education level, even though she had been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. As Rae puts it, the MBA recipient had left her marriage, pushing 40 with no professional experience.

Two years later, she had an epiphany - a "voice" told her to quit her job, marry John and start a magazine called Divorce in Denver.
Despite dire warnings and no publishing background, Rae was undeterred. She took out a $50,000 line of credit on her house and held on to her dream - and her "gloomy" magazine title. Some detractors had told her that she might as well name her publication "Cancer" as doom its future as Divorce in Denver.
"No other name fit," the businesswoman said.

In the end, Rae defiantly took the same calculated risk on her magazine that she had taken on her decision to divorce her first husband. "When anyone tells me I can't do something, it makes me really want to do it," she said.

Divorce in Denver is sold by subscription and at Borders Books and Barnes & Noble stores across Colorado. Advertising revenue doubled with the second issue, according to the publisher. She has even toyed with the idea of taking the magazine nationally.

Rae is not just the publisher of Divorce in Denver - she is also a reader, and one who is still working her way through the legal and emotional issues that come with the end of any marriage.

"In the next couple of issues, I'm going to really cut to the chase in my letters from the editor," Rae said, noting that she has recently extended her ex-husband's complimentary subscription. "My son told me, 'Mom, I don't think Dad wants to get that magazine anymore.' I said, 'Well, he'll have to call me and cancel.'"